Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
