On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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