What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
