youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
