who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
