U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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