sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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