insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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