a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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