My first STD was from a foam party
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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