tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
