my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
