Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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