I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
