Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
