I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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