ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you told grandpa to call you daddy
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
