Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
