that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
