M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
