I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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