She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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