Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize