i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
