you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
