I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The air taste purple.
Randomize