Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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