He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
