You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
