ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
