im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
