Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
