he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
