so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
