I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
