i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
