hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
