More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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