i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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