would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
