You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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