that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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