the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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