is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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