I want to stick my p in your. b.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
