Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
