his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
