i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
