In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
