Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this just has baby written all over it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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