i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
