I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
