We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
True strength comes from lack of pants
did i just pee glitter
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
