why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
