Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
