Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my shit smells like andre
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
