He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
