I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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