you would pick up someone in the library
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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