we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
