We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
