I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
