He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This baby is an asshole
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You left your phone here
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